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About Nitwits FC
Flightless. Fearless. For Everyone
Born in a Backyard, Built for the World
Nitwits FC was founded in Minneapolis in 2025 by two young visionaries:Wesley and Torben, who wanted a club of their own for their birthday party. The idea was simple:
Every kid should feel like a pro.
They didn’t just want jerseys — they wanted a real club.
- With names and numbers
- A crest and a motto
- And a place where anyone with heart and hustle could belong
The first Nitwits match was chaos: nutmegs, belly flops, hugs, and one goal that may have been scored by accident. It was perfect. And it planted the seed for something real.
Why a Kakapo?
We chose thekakapo— a flightless, slightly clumsy parrot from New Zealand — as our mascot because it’s:
- Determined
- Ridiculous
- Full of personality
Just like the best kind of teammate.
Nitwits don’t always win. But they always show up.
Flightless. Fearless. Forever Nitwits.
A Global Club for Local Legends
Nitwits FC isn’t tied to one city or league.
It’s for:
- Backyard heroes
- Parking lot jugglers
- Schoolyard tacticians
- Parents, kids, siblings, neighbors — who just love the game
You don’t need tryouts.
Just grab your kit, pick a number, and get on the pitch.
This club is for you.
Join the Movement
We’re building the official Nitwits Gallery — a living history of chaos and community.
Send us your:
- Game photos
- Jersey selfies
- Ridiculous goal celebrations
- Stories of nutmegs and shanks
We’ll feature them right here. Because every Nitwit deserves the spotlight.
Submit your pics and stories to: team@donkeylabel.com
Or tag us on Instagram: @donkeylabel + #nitwitsfc
What You’re Wearing:
This isn’t some generic kit from a catalog. This is a Donkey Label-built jersey, using the same elite-quality materials, cut, and construction you’d expect from high-performance cycling apparel. It’s buttery-soft, breathable, durable, and designed to flex with your game — or your goofy dance moves.
- Sky blue with forest green diagonal sash
- Nitwits FC patch (kakapo crest) on left chest
- Donkey Label flying donkey logo on right chest
- Large SPYE sponsor across the front
- Bird detail on the sleeve for max flair
- Back includes:“NITWITS FC” arched on topPlayer number (e.g. 9)Player name (e.g. KAKAPO)
Who’s Got Your Back:
- Title Sponsor: Spye → $40 per kit covered
- Secondary Sponsor: The Shank Brothers → Adds $5 in support per jersey
What’s a Nitwit?
A Nitwit is someone who plays with heart, not just skill.
Who shows up for the snacks, stays for the slide tackles, and never takes themselves too seriously.
The kakapo, our flightless bird crest, reminds us:
“You don’t need wings to fly.”
We’re Flightless. Fearless. And all in.